Oh wow have I got a bad one for you this week.
What do you do if you’ve sold your soul in exchange for immortality but need to dine on human flesh a hell of a lot? Open a quaint seafood restaurant of course! I’m sure this is meant to be a horror comedy but it’s so badly done I’m not sure the people making it really understood that at the time.
I haven’t seen this listed on hardly any of the “total lists of zombie movies” out there and with good reason. It’s hard to really call it a zombie movie. It’s yet another example of the undead killer kind of movie that is loosely considered a zombie flick. More like a cursed-to-walk-the-earth kind of thing.
This is one of those movies where you can just turn off your brain, pound some cheap beer and laugh your ass off tearing it apart. From the bad dialogue to the shitty music and the ridiculous editing. There is virtually nothing good about this movie except the time you have watching it.
The main killer or “zombie” becomes undead when a group of holier-than-thou religious types decide that killing him would be wrong so they curse him to be the walking dead for the rest of eternity. With the catch that if he eats flesh he’ll be able to maintain his current looks. What a bunch of hypocrites! They can’t kill him but they’ll turn him into a monster with a massive motivation to kill others? That’s actually worse than just killing him! Thanks a lot assholes!
Fast forward 600 years and one amazingly bad straight-to-the-camera monologue and you’re into one of the worst “zombie” movies of all time. But like I said, the fact that it’s bad, is the best thing about it.
(I should call this the hilarious.)
There’s so much wrong with the dialogue and the acting it’s impossible to get it all down here. But go look for yourself because there are TONS of ridiculous exchanges and gaffs. Like the young guy proposing to his girlfriend “Stella” and the ring not fitting her finger. When she goes missing . . . of course he busts out his best Streetcar Named Desire impression and starts screaming “STELLA!”
It’s amazing how bad the quick quips and exchanges can be too. Watch for this one:
Girl: “You need a groupie? I need a purpose in life.”
Musician: “Fuck off asshole.”
What!? What’s even going on in this movie!?