Man Crates

zombie annihilation
Look at all that awesome gear! Now all you need is shelter, water and people who have your back!

Here’s something fairly awesome that came through my mailbag recently. MAN CRATES! These awesome gifts for men come in a variety of styles and this one just happens to be for zombie survival. The wicked fun thing about the kits is that they come in a  real wooden kit that has to be opened with a crowbar! How awesome is that?! So if anyone is thinking of christmas gifts . . . y’know, I’m just saying. I wouldn’t mind one of these puppies showing up on my doorstep.

At $179 bucks this is an affordable fun, if not slightly dangerous gift idea for anyone. It’s got everything you need to survive the fits few hours of the apocalypse for sure, a can of spam a few bandaids, a flashlight, gorilla tape, and the Zombie survival guide.  There’s a shovel for burring the incredible duce you’ll drop when you see hordes of zombies coming over the hill towards you, and of course lots of nice sharp things to keep those zombies’ heads ringing.

Sweet!

Click here to find out how you can get one for your best buds and get a little more info below.

Keep Evil at Bay:

  • Gerber® Gator Machete Junior
    • 10.75″ high-carbon steel blade
    • Gator-Grip
    •  NOT A TOY 
  • Gerber® Gator Combo Axe and Knife
  • Gerber® Gorge Folding Shovel
  • Combination Paracord Knife with Built-in Firestarter

Combat Essentials

  • Zombie Survival Guide (Max Brooks)
  • Zombie LED Flashlight
  • First Aid Kit
  • Duct Tape
  • Spam. Delicious, delicious Spam.

Delivered

In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.

Take the Offensive

It’s 28 days later and we’re organized, supplied and effective. Our defenses hold back the walkers nightly. Our daylight patrols have gotten faster and more aggressive–the leadership of true veterans makes all the difference.

Extermination Gear

The team used to come back shaken up and terrified; now its all swagger and bragging about re-kill counts. Swanson says he put down a dozen in one excursion. It’s all about having the right tool for the job, be it digging a latrine, chopping firewood, clearing brush, or dispatching the undead.

Rebuilding

Expanded, walker-free green zones and improved regimentation back at camp have really raised the quality of life around here. We’ve got a water well and designated garden plots for squash and cabbage. It’s been a solid month of SPAM and canned soup, I’ve never been so excited about vegetables in my life.

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Published by

Mike Kloran

I am an Educational Designer from Brooklyn New York. I'm a teacher, an artist, an athlete and constantly doing, making, drawing, creating! It's a busy life but I'm doing what I love and that's what matters most to me!

4 thoughts on “Man Crates”

    1. I saw something about that in my newsfeed the other day but it totally slipped my mind. Thanks for reminding me. It looks awesome right? I always wonder about a big horde building up over time and climbing over each other or their fallen horde mates. What a stink that would be outside. But this thing looks built to last.

      Like

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